It’s Not What You Say It’s How You Say It

sometimes-your-tonewill-disqualify-youGood morning, woke up a little after 5am this morning.

Last week I set a goal to get up at 6am every morning.  When you work from home there’s not a time you have to be at work.  But I feel like 6am is an adult time to wake up.  When I get a hard start to my morning I have much better days than when I just wake up whenever I want.  I’m celebrating that I set a goal and have been killing it!

As I shared in the last post I’ve been trying to start my day with a creative project, putting a thought on “paper” and sharing it.  It causes me to have to sit and think about something as well as do something slightly creative and productive to start out my day with a win.

The one I worked on this morning was not the one I ended up posting.  I ended up sharing the one above.

My original thought this morning needs to be reworked, I even started writing a blog post about my original idea, but the tone was so negative.

Something my dad said a lot growing up was “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  And it’s stuck with me.  Parents keep planting seeds, a lot of the things my dad has said over the years have stuck with me.

Thinking about HOW to say something is interesting.  You can be saying the same basic thought, but it can be perceived very very differently based on how you deliver it.

“Sometimes your tone can disqualify you.”

I originally had will instead of can.

Sometimes your tone will disqualify you.

But can is a bit more passive, and less harsh.  Less severe.  Will sounds like it definitely will disqualify you where can gives a bit of ambiguity.

I also thought about removing the word “sometimes” but that sometimes again softens the blow.

Your Tone Can Disqualify You.  vs Sometimes Your Tone Can Disqualify You

Again adding in a bit of ambiguity makes it more palatable.  Without sometimes it sounds so accusatory and scolding.

When you stare at words this long and think about them like this they start to fall apart and not make any sense at all.

Row-ad.  (Tommy boy?)

Anyway, if you often feel you’re misunderstood, I encourage you to check your tone.  Ask someone who you trust and and who loves you if your tone is getting in the way of the good things you have to say.

Sometimes communication is an art form that requires practice.

God gave us a filter.  Just because a thought comes to our mind doesn’t mean we have to say it.

You have good things to contribute, maybe that thought needs an edit, a flair, a finesse to be received well.  It takes practice and discipline but it’s worth it.

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