Today a thought came to my mind.
Life requires you to run on all 8 cylinders.
My first car was a v6. It had some get up and go, it was a dodge intrepid. Since then I’ve owned all 4 cylinder cars. My best friend growing up had a v8 in high school. A champagne colored Cadillac. We once got the gas pedal stuck to the floor on a road that was only 30 miles an hour.
The rest of my thought was that I feel like I’m running on maybe 1 and on a good day 2 cylinders lately. It’s strange, when life requires the most discipline you don’t feel as though you have the energy to give it.
If you want the key to discouraging me, tell me what I’m doing has no purpose. But I don’t need you to tell me that, when these fall blues come my mind breathes that lie to me every few seconds. The blog the podcast, they aren’t what you’d thought they would be, they aren’t matching up to the ideal you had in your mind. I’m guessing every dreamer can relate to this stage of the game.
I’ve shared this with you before. My biggest struggle and hurdle to overcome is not believing the lie that screams what I’m putting my hand to is not worth it.
I feel best when I believe the work I’m doing has an impact, that it’s valuable and benefiting the world. That’s when I do my best work.
When I accept the lie that what I’m doing is meaningless, then every task becomes an overwhelming burden. The easier route is to disengage, withdrawal, and try to slap bandaids on your hurts in the form of whatever will make you “feel” better. Sugary caffeinated beverages in hope that you’ll find or feel inspiration in that.
Maybe you can relate. Or maybe this will just give you insight in how to pray for me in this season. Luckily I know this is just a season. And soon I’ll be back at it, inspired, dreaming even bigger dreams, producing work, and feeling on cloud 9.