I’m tired. And when I get tired I lose track of my why. And without my why I question just about everything. And because my eyes aren’t focused upward they turn inward and it quickly becomes about my comfort and my rights and my preferences which is entitlement. And entitlement is a slippery slope to bitterness and despair.
If your feelings don’t align with truth tell them to shut up.
And I did. Some people’s hard tasks tonight are fighting literal battles. My little scrimmage tonight was a pile of dishes that I have been neglecting all day. But they are done now.
And I’m contending for hope in my confusion. Forcing myself to be thankful, because I have a lot to be thankful for but when I get overwhelmed I shrink back and hide and would rather justify inaction.
This is the busiest and equally most fulfilling and challenging season of my life so far.
And I have to contend right now for hope and joy and peace. Not dread despair and anxiety.
Writing this is me contending. Because that all to common voice says don’t be vulnerable they will judge you and think you are weak. I am weak. And I daily fight battles I feel like I should have won by now.
I’m posting because resistance is telling me not to. Push through. Finish a task. Because you tell Your Feelings What To Do not the other way around.
