How do I do care ministry?  You might have asked this question.

Our friends Blake and Jenni just had their first baby.  But there were some complications.  Baby Annelyse was born and didn’t have a heart beat for the first 20 or so minutes.  They are still in the NICU with her.  They are a family that is full of faith.  You can follow their journey here.  Please be praying for a full recovery!

We’ve made it our Sunday evening ritual to take them dinner and sit in the lobby with them and eat, and then go spend some time with Annelyse and pray for her.

Horrific hardships are happening all around you.  Don’t let people go through them alone.

Here’s some steps on how to care for people during hard times.

1.  Ask

Ask what you can do for them.  Don’t just assume that something you want to do for them will be well received.  Just because you would like to be treated a certain way does not mean that they will.  Some people are private, and some people want the company.  During this time of tragedy be extra sensitive.

2.  Listen

Be available to listen.  There is a lot of processing that needs to happen in the event of tragedy.  Don’t come with your advice guns blazing.  If they want advice they will ask for it.  But in this hard time don’t give unwarranted opinions and advice.  Just listen.

3.  Don’t Be Afraid Of  Silence

Don’t be afraid of silence.  Sometimes a simple hug and allowing someone to cry on your shoulder is enough.  Crying with them is good too.  Don’t make the person going through tragedy feel like they need to entertain you or make you comfortable.  Don’t be afraid to simply be present.

4.  Serve

Meal ministry seems to be a thing of the past.  I remember when my mom had surgery, every night someone from the church brought our family dinner.  Ask what you can do for the people involved.  Sometimes they might be to bashful to ask.  While you’re listening, be intentional about listening to things that they might say they need.  You might have to ask them directly if you can bring them a meal.  Ask them what they’d like and make it happen.  Try and see if you can alleviate any other burdens from them.

5.  Be consistent

There is usually an initial overwhelming outpouring when bad things happen.  But it doesn’t stop after that.  Be committed to walking with the family through the tragedy.

What other steps would you suggest when walking with someone through a tragedy?  How have you been cared for that you would recommend during hard times?  Or on the flip side, what is something that someone has done that people should avoid?  Let us know in the comments.