Something I realized about myself last year was that I feel best when I’m producing. I think I’ve written that more than a few times on here. Maybe this blog is just a way for me to externally process, which is what I think that when I look at the blog stats, which discourage me. But its beneficial for me to write, and get these things out. And from time to time, I get people that write me e-mails that read the blog and are really blessed by it, and that’s a huge bonus.
The dragon that breathes down my throat every morning morning when I wake up tells me that I have no purpose and that my day is going to be a waste. Something even as small as starting my day by POSTING a blog post sets me up for a better day than if I start my day without doing anything.
I battle with productivity, and perfectionism. I want to set up a system that keeps me consistently productive. I’ve been learning lessons along the way and have been tweeking and readjusting. I’m not going to beat myself up, because there’s another lie that I believe. That lie manifests itself in shame. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I’m not more productive or efficient, or consistent than I am.
Waiting to “publish” things until they are 100% perfect (which never will happen) stops the creative momentum. One of the personal growth recommendations based on my “type 4” enneagram profile was to
- “Avoid putting off things until you are “in the right mood.” Commit yourself to productive, meaningful work that will contribute to your good and that of others, no matter how small the contribution may be. Working consistently in the real world will create a context in which you can discover yourself and your talents. (Actually, you are happiest when you are working—that is, activating your potentials and realizing yourself. You will not “find yourself” in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, so connect—and stay connected—with the real world.”
Have you done the enneagram test yet? Out of all of these types of personality profile tests that I’ve done this one has been the most beneficial, because instead of just pointing at your strengths it calls out some of your weaknesses and then tells you how to work on them. Ignore all of the eastern religion stuff and take this free test.
I’ve recently deactivated my facebook account again. Since I usually share these blog posts on facebook, and am no longer doing that, my readership is way down. I still push them to twitter but don’t have nearly as many followers on twitter as I have friends on facebook. Being off of facebook is beneficial for me for a myriad of reasons, maybe I’ll dedicate another blog post to that at another time.
When I’m about to post something, I reread it a few times, and I think to myself “what you’re posting doesn’t matter, no one is going to read it, these aren’t even good posts.” I just click publish anyway to end the battle. Perfectionism and fear stops me from being productive, and as I said earlier, I feel best when I’m producing. Seth Godin just wrote a solid blog post on the trolls inside of our heads that’s worth reading. It’s short.
I’m writing these things out, because I don’t think I’m alone in this battle. If you’re reading this, you most likely have ideas, and want to produce things that are going to bless the world, but all to often listen to a voice that tries to minimize it’s worth or value. Tell that dragon troll to shut up, and go public with your idea.
