Leader Surround Yourself With People NOT Like You

I hung out with an old friend, Chris Bell recently.  He said that he really liked my leadership blog posts.  He’s the first person who’s said that, so here’s another…

Leaders have a tendency to lead from their personality.  Obviously, it would be hard to not lead from our personality.  But it gets dangerous when we assume that everyone thinks like we think, and wants what we want.

Most likely you are leading people with a huge array of personalities and backgrounds.  Surround yourself with a team of leaders that are DIFFERENT from you and embrace and welcome their different point of view.  This won’t always be the easiest, but they will be able to give you valuable insight into other people’s perspectives, so that you do not alienate people who are not like you.

Engage:  Who is the best leader you’ve followed.  What made them a great leader?  Let us know in the comments.  

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A Lesson In Aloha

Shakka’s up!  A photographer behind me yelled this and I snapped this photo at the 2012 Honolulu Color run.

I guess I’m missing Hawaii a bit… so here’s a post about Hawaii.  It was like a scene out of a movie, but it would have ended much differently on the east coast…

Where we lived and worked in Hawaii is right next to a private Catholic school.  I was headed to pick Jess up and pulled out of our driveway and followed a car that was leaving the Catholic school.  The next thing I know HUNDREDS of pieces of paper fly up into the air and litter the street.  The driver had left her binder on top of her car!  It was like a movie scene on the last day of school.  The driver realized what happened and pulls over.  This street is really a two way street but it could only allow one way traffic at a time because of the cars parked on the side.

I had two options.  I could drive over all of her homework and pass her and be on my way or I could help this girl pick up her papers.  I chose the later.

I pulled over, threw my hazards on and starting picking up papers, some were flying down the sewer drain, there was not much I could do about that.  The girl was embarrassed and kept say I’m so sorry.  The guy behind me stopped and got out and helped pick up the papers littered everywhere too.  When we had finished picking them all up and handing them to her she thanked me and I got back in my car.  As I drove off I noticed that quite a few cars had began to line up as we had stopped traffic.

But I noticed something as I drove by.  No one was honking, and no one even looked impatient, well maybe the first guy looked impatient, or maybe just tired.  I think someone might have even smiled to me as I drove by, as a, hey thanks for helping kind of gesture.  The bus driver that was waiting to get into the school smiled and waved at me.

I feel like if we were on the east coast that would have ended much differently.  Someone might have gotten out to help, but the rest of the people would have honked, and people would have driven over the papers because they were in a hurry.

I was giving someone directions once REALLY fast at a red light in Maryland, 175 and Snowden, the light turned green and seriously not even a second later, as I was finishing up giving the guy directions, the person behind me LAYED on his horn and yelled “come on!!”  I looked in the rear view mirror both he and his passenger had their hands up in the air like what are you doing?!  It wasn’t very nice of me, but let me tell you I took the LONGEST time getting through that light, to the tune of that mans horn.  That story is still slightly infuriating.  

I like Hawaii, I like that it’s laid back.  I like the Aloha.  Whenever you put your blinker on, someone lets you in, even though Honolulu has the worst traffic in the United States.  You flash them the shakka out the window and you’re on your way.  That is a much different hand gesture than you might see driving on the East Coast.  The only time that I’m recalling hearing someone beep their horn was when I was driving back from the west side where there is a cluster of resorts.  The guy beeping wasn’t local, it was a tourist in a rental car.

Engage:  Are you a patient or impatient driver?  What is your biggest driving pet peeve?  Let us know in the comments.

HollyJanuary 9, 2013 - 4:08 am

Good reminder! :)

Joanbn125January 9, 2013 - 8:22 am

Hi Jim,
Wait til you hit Florida. I think they were trained to lay on their horn here.  Seems like the worst offenders are the transplanted seniors that seem to have no patience.  As you mentioned, they throw up their hands like your a stupid driver (at least that’s my thought.)  This is my first year at driving here as I’ve always preferred to be the passenger.  It’s a brand new experience.  No one waits, gives you a break, etc.  Oh well, I try to be patient with their impatience.
Waiting patiently for your visit.
Love, Grandma

Sara StrandquistJanuary 9, 2013 - 9:51 am

there is this entrance ramp onto a bridge i have to take every day to get home from work. it goes from two lanes, to three, down to one in a span of about 50 feet. and no one ever knows which lanes are supposed to merge with which. ugh. I’m the mean girl who will ride the bumper of the person in front of me so people who are trying to pass inappropriately (like on the shoulder or the far lane that disappears) can’t get in.

Jillian WellmanJanuary 9, 2013 - 4:27 pm

I miss the Aloha too!  LA freeways are a bit different than Queen K highway in Kona.  :)  But, I have to say I’m an alright driver… I have a reggae music playlist that I play when the traffic starts to tense me up and I calm right back down.  Stressing doesn’t help the 405 move any faster!

jimjessbakerJanuary 10, 2013 - 11:45 am

i like that you have a calm down driving playlist, awesome.

jimjessbakerJanuary 10, 2013 - 11:46 am

maybe you should make a “chill out while driving playlist” like Jillian. :)

jimjessbakerJanuary 10, 2013 - 11:48 am

you’d think with the sunshine that they’d be more patient… they need some aloha! They are probably all transplants from the busy east coast… see you soon :)

jimjessbakerJanuary 10, 2013 - 11:48 am

mahalo!

Honoring A Service Man On the Airplane

A view from inside one of our planes on our 2010 Africa trip.  

Our last flight back to the mainland from Hawaii, was from Phoenix to Pittsburg.  Jess and I were not seated next to one another.  The flight was full, so as we boarded, I asked a young man (it’s funny to call someone a young man, he looked to be about 18-19) in a military uniform if he’d be willing to switch seats with me…  

He was in an aisle seat sitting next to Jess and he would have to move to a middle seat in the next row up.  I told him that he didn’t have to say yes, that I was just asking.  He said no problem and moved to the row in front of us.  
As I got settled in my seat, a man stood up and addressed the young man in uniform saying “I’m in an emergency exit row and I’d like you to have my seat.”  (Emergency exit rows have a lot more leg room, and he was giving up an aisle seat.)  The service man, tried to refuse, “no, it’s okay.” And the man insisted.  The service man, stood to his feet and stuck out his hand saying thank you to the man giving up his seat, the man giving up his seat said, “no thank you.”  


It made me think a couple of things.  The first was… if this service man had not switched seats with me, the honor would not have been as great.  It would have still been an upgrade, but it would have simply been switching from an aisle seat, to an emergency aisle seat with more leg room.  Whereas because of this man’s generosity with switching seats with me, his reward was greater, because he went from a middle seat, to an emergency row aisle seat.  Now that I’m writing this it kind of reminds me of Luke 14:1-14

The second thought I had was that this act of honor changed the atmosphere on the plane.  Everyone that saw an older man, give up his seat to a younger man in uniform took notice and for a few seconds everything paused.  Honor is a great thing, that we don’t see very much anymore, and it’s inspiring.  

It made me wonder this: Can there be honor without sacrifice?  

Engage:  What is the most memorable spontaneous act of honor you’ve seen?  Let us know in the comments.  

2013 A Year Where I Want To Value What I Say I Value

Bringing in the New Year with Jess’ grandma, mom and step dad.  
Happy 2013 friends!  This year I want to really value what I say I value…

If you made a new years resolutions this year it’s probably because you value those things.  The problem is, when we fail at those resolutions by mid January then we’re showing that we don’t really value those things.

A quote someone said that has stuck with me is this…

“People don’t value what they say they value.”  

I want 2013 to be a year of consistency and of goal achieving.  

I function best when I have structure and a routine.  And for as much as we travel I REALLY need to be disciplined to get into that routine.  

I want to be consistent in my morning routine, getting up early before the busyness of the day and making sure I’m taking the time to exercise and to spend time reading my bible.  Using that time to journal and blog and read other things as well.  

My blogging goal for 2013 is to blog over 100 times this year.  

Engage:  Did you set some goals for 2013?  Share with us what they were in the comments.  Lets make 2013 a year where we make leaps and bounds in our goal achieving!  
themoldycannoliJanuary 3, 2013 - 7:10 am

Yes, I made some new year’s resolutions, I really like making goals and lists. I like making lists for other people too (namely my hunny, I’m not sure how he likes it though). Here’s my resolutions… http://themoldycannoli.blogspot.com/2013/01/resolutions.html

jimjessbakerJanuary 3, 2013 - 4:22 pm

that’s a good list!  great way to put them online so people can keep you accountable.  jess is a crochets did you know that?  

The Best and Most Provocative Christmas Blog Post I’ve Seen

A friend of mine posted a pretty awesome, interesting, and semi controversial blog post about Christmas.  I thought it was worth sharing here.

Click here to read it.  Hens and Thoughts For Christmas

Engage:  Leave your thoughts and comments on her blog, I’ll check them over there

Megan McCormackDecember 27, 2012 - 2:27 pm

Thank you so much Jim!

Joanbn125December 28, 2012 - 3:59 am

Enjoyed reading Seth’s blog.  

Joanbn125December 28, 2012 - 4:00 am

Oops, wrong person. Still enjoyed!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from us to YOU!  

Engage: Did you have an awesome Christmas this year?  Share with us your most memorable moment in the comments.  


themoldycannoliDecember 25, 2012 - 12:28 pm

Yes, we had a nice Christmas, I’m really glad that we could spend it with my grandparents (and little G’s. great grandparents!). They are very special to me and I just wish that all of the surrounding family members would appreciate them and value them as well.

jimjessbakerDecember 25, 2012 - 2:09 pm

glad you had a nice Christmas with family! Thanks for valuing your family so highly!

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Goodbye Hawaii, Hello Mainland

This is a tentative map of our travels while on the mainland.  We’ll also be making a stop in Toronto too. 
We’re back on the mainland now… here’s some thoughts that I had before I left Hawaii…

I’m sitting on the floor with most of our earthly possessions in luggage. It isn’t the first time and most likely it won’t be the last. When you stop packing, and are quiet amidst the empty room, that is when you start to think, and emotions flood your heart.  The rain is quietly hitting the pavement outside of the 4th room we’ve have called home in the past ten months. We have nothing really tangible or concrete to show for this time, just new friendships, and memories.  And our real inheritance, what we worked for, 12 students who are going all over the world, with their lives changed after studying the entire bible for 9 months.  We were blessed to play a role in facilitating that.  

Walking with this group of people, we experienced every emotion with them, day in and day out. We lived a lifetime with these people in 9 months. And in hours we board a plane. Back half way across the world to our “home.”  But while home is familiar, it also seems so foreign.

My heart is full. I can tell my brain is too, I have called people by their wrong names more than a few times this week.   Rest will be nice a change of scenery, the open road always has a way to let your mind make sense of things and declutter.  We will visit old friends and family people that we have a history with.  There is a safety in friends and family with a history, people that knew who we were and are gracious enough to listen and try and understand who we are becoming. Gracious enough to believe in us, and what we have given our lives to. Gracious enough to try and grasp any glimpse of what our lives now look like.  

The future? We have a plan for the future, but we know that our best laid plans aren’t always the Lords.  So we set our sights forward, but we’re ready to have our trajectory changed, to get new orders, to go wherever and do whatever He says. All in hopes of hearing, well done good and faithful servant when we enter through those gates, to our real home. 

We have poured out, and served at times in seemingly thankless things, but somehow we feel we are on the right track, following in the steps of the One who gave it all.  The one who deserved the most honor, the most respect, but yet came into the world and served mankind whom He created.  

Yet we know nothing of pain and suffering, only inconvenience and a bruised pride. We have grown. And we have loved, and been loved. And somewhere, somehow we will do something similar, all again, even though after ten months this feels like this is the norm and it should simply continue. I’m not sure there is a norm in kingdom living. 

This is the life of the modern missionary.  It’s exciting and at times, absolutely terrifying.

Engage:  What is God highlighting to you this Christmas season?  Let us know in the comments.  
Joanbn125December 24, 2012 - 3:50 am

May God bless you both as you take your journey in the next few months.  May you be a blessing to all those you meet along the way.
Safe travel.  Love you, Grandpa and Grandma 

jimjessbakerDecember 24, 2012 - 3:55 am

thank you!

CherylDecember 24, 2012 - 2:43 pm

You are blessed and have blessed many on your journey.  May that continue on your travel journeys this next couple months.
Wherever you are lead may God Bless you.  Safe travels and we are waiting your arrival in South Carolina.  Love you both, Mom and Dad

jimjessbakerDecember 24, 2012 - 6:02 pm

thank you mom :)

Most Popular Posts in 2012

Spam Musubi:) 

Want to see what posts were the most popular this year? 

2012’s most popular posts, excluding updates.  Click on the title to read the full post.  Make sure you read the comments too, there’s some really good stuff in some of the comments.  










10.  Do We Rob God Of Blessing Us With A Clenched Fist Of Disobedience 

Engage:  Which one of these blog posts was your favorite?  Let us know in the comments.  

Do You Shop Online? Here’s An Easy Way To Help Us Out


If you’re doing some online shopping this year on Amazon, here’s an easy way to help us out…

We recently signed up to be Amazon associates.  Meaning if you buy anything on Amazon from the link below we get a 4% commission.  

So if you’d like to help us out and you’re buying anything from Amazon, please click on this link or use the link on the right side bar every time you want to get to amazon.  Then bookmark that page and use it as your amazon link, and  shop as normal.  

There is no extra cost to you at all!  

Engage:  Do you shop online?  What is your go to online store?  Let us know in the comments.

CherylDecember 14, 2012 - 5:55 am

Oh I wish we had known that earlier.  We bought several things from amazon. :(
Is it just for 2012 or 2013 too?

themoldycannoliDecember 14, 2012 - 6:08 am

I had no idea that is how it works! I buy from Amazon all the time since I have their Prime membership. I’ll be sure to click on your link in the future.

jimjessbakerDecember 14, 2012 - 7:55 am

thanks so much! I tried the free trial of prime, it was pretty nice, but i also felt like it caused me to buy more just because i had the free shipping…

jimjessbakerDecember 14, 2012 - 7:56 am

it’s a forever thing. so whenever you want to shop from amazon just come to our site first and click on the link :) thanks!